Hey folks, I'm going to spend the next several days concocting a walkthrough for the convenience of those less gifted
individuals. This will inevitably include a number of spoilers
. DO NOT READ ON IF YOU VALUE SURPRISES OR A CHALLENGE.
The idea of this walkthrough is to give players the direction they need to complete the game, rather than give all of its secrets away. As a result, it will not include hidden bosses, side-quests, or optional items and playable characters (although in due time, those might get their own official thread).
So, let us begin!Chapter 1: Litchfield
Part 1: Being Ripped
Anebriate wakes up and starts to pat himself on the back for ruling so much. Steer him out of his bedroom and head for the piles of papers on the kitchen table. There's a coupon for Larry's which he'll need, otherwise he won't leave the house. Once outside and the cut-scene is finished, head east. In the next portion of town, you'll see a woman and a machine of terror engaged in a bit of a scuffle. You'll have to head over and fight Mechanicor. Your only two special moves are "Celestial Ejaculate," which casts auto-life on yourself (useless in a party of one) and ULTRA DEATH MOVE TIMES INFINITY. I suggest using the latter until the fight is over, which won't take long.
Part 2: Food
Another cut-scene will ensue, and then Anebriate will have to drag himself back to his house (leave the house and head north out of this section of town). Enter Anebriate's house (the one with the green roof) and grab his stuff. Don't forget to equip it. Then head the same way as before, when you encountered Mechanicor and the woman. From there, head all the way east and talk to the hobo. Talk to him again if you want to save. Enter the building and talk to the tavern owner, Larry. Once you've eaten, move as if to leave, and the tavern will erupt into flames. After the cut-scene, talk to the misogynistic man in green: Palmer. He'll force his way into your party. Then talk to the piano to move it out the way, exposing the ladder down. Labyrinth time.
Part 3: The Labyrinth.
Get ready for random encounters. There are giant rats, giant spiders and bats in the labyrinth. If you encounter a mixed bag of enemies, I suggest focusing on the spiders first, who can poison your players, which depletes their health even once the battle has finished. To cure poison, use the "Poison" item from your inventory. Yeah, I know. Rats are second-priority because their irritating accuracy-reducing attacks can cause the fights to drag on longer.
You are at the 1 to begin. You'll notice how the red lines are all slightly different shades: This is because each step is indicated in a darker shade of red for clarity. Just follow the lines in numerical order to each of the points indicated, and you should be through it in no time. Keep in mind that when killing spiders, there is a small chance that Poison will drop, so if you are far away from the bed (location #3 on the map), and need to cure your poison, it might be beneficial to kill spiders rather than run from them. Once you are through the part of the labyrinth indicated above, you'll enter a small map with a ladder, and once you climb up a few floors, you'll pop out in one of the abandoned buildings in Litchfield. Head outside and check on Larry's, which is no longer on fire, just smoldering here and there. But wait, what's this? Nobody's waiting for you inside.Chapter 2: Richmond and Gardiner
Part 1: Packing Up
Once you have a little dialog, Palmer will decide that the most likely route to take is south, towards Richmond. You may want to stop at Palmer's church along the way out of town for a handful of free items. The church is east of the square, which is the part of town with the big statue in the middle. There are also a plethora of shops you may want to shop at. Once you've finished your business, head south until you have left the town completely, and are at the world map.
Part 2: The Forest Path
Take a few steps into the wooded-area, and you'll be transferred into the forest path. There are crazy lumberjacks and disgusting slime monsters in the forest, the former of which might prove a challenge if you're still a bit low-level. Fight your way down the path a bit and talk to the save hobo if you so choose. From there, follow the path south, say hello to an old acquaintance, and it will wind around in a fairly linear fashion until you're completely out of the forest with minimal directions required. Once back on the world map, take a few steps westwards and you'll find yourself at the foot of the next town.
Part 3: Richmond
Ahh, smell that sweet Maine air. Palmer gets right to business, telling you where to find Deemer's house. It's the top-left house in the area, if you missed it. The save hobo will offer some rousing words if you choose to stop by. You may also want to stock up on some consumables while you have the chance. Entering Deemer's house, it appears empty, but there's a staircase up and to the left. Downstairs, Deemer will be hanging out, jamming to the sweet tunes, and performing dubious rituals. Talk to him, and fight him. He's not too bad if you're conscious of your health. Once he screams violently at about 20%, shit gets hairy. He's going to lay down some pain to the whole party. If you have more than two party-members, use one of them to heal Palmer and the other to heal Anebriate with whatever means necessary. Continue to use Palmer's double-attack and try to burn through the rest of Deemer's health as fast as you can. If you can help it, make sure all of your party-members have decent health before Deemer goes berserk. Once you beat him, he'll agree to help out so long as once it's all done, you leave him alone forever. Upon leaving the basement, he'll suggest Gardiner as the best source of clues. Leave the house and save, and stay at the inn if necessary (which is north of Deemer's house). Do what you need to do in town, then it's time to pack up and leave.
Part 4: The Bridge and Swamp
Once you've left town, head a little bit south east and hop on the bridge. It's a pretty chill place, just mostly there for flavor. Walk across it, talk to some goofy guards along the way, take a breather. Then it's into the swamp. You'll hop onto the world map for another step or two and submerge yourself into the swampy goodness. It's tricky and foggy, but it's mostly linear so you won't get too terribly lost. Once you reach the top of the map, fighting through floating jellyfish (which can silence) and evil plant monsters (which can put your party-members to sleep), you'll notice there's a path in the north-western-most corner which leads off screen. Take it if you want, there's an item that way. Otherwise, head all the way east and fight your way through the swamp to the next path. There's a smaller swampy area with a weirdo old man standing in the way. Turns out, he's the quiz-master. You can fight him (don't recommend it unless you're very confident in your party) or you can choose to answer his questions. They're pretty easy and you can retake the test if you get some wrong. Once you answer all the questions correctly, he'll let you pass, and then you're out of the swamp and back on the world map, near Gardiner.
Part 5: Gardiner
Welcome to the coast of one of Maine's many fine islands. Once in town, Deemer will point you in the direction of the Gardiner slums, to the west. Once in the slums, head to the west side and look for the Pub. You'll notice a fine beard immediately upon entering, and also a fine gentleman behind the beard. His name is Webber; talk to him and ask a little bit about the mercenaries in town. He'll point you in the direction of the "task-manager" of the mercenaries in town, a guy called Meatloaf. Leave the slums and head north-east, to the nicer district of town. The mansion with the green house is Meatloaf's, but be careful: once you enter, you can't leave until after you fight the 'Loaf. You might want to save first or shop around. The hobo is in the nice part of town, to the east near the docks. Palmer will leave your party once you enter Meatloaf's house, so if you were using him, it's going to be a tough fight. Inside Meatloaf's house, upstairs, there's a guest bed. You can sleep in it if you need to recover. Meatloaf can silence, so it may help to have some sound shrooms on hand or Sneaky Pete's foghorn equipped. Once you beat the 'Loaf, he'll spill the beans about the mercenaries underground. Unfortunately, there's a password which you'll need to get before you can get in. Head back to the tavern, where there will be some drama with Palmer. After that, talk to Webber, who will be super pumped that you beat up Meatloaf. When asked about a password, he'll suggest Sneaky Pierre, the black market goods dealer. If it's dark, head straight there, it's the shack at the north side of the slums. If it's not dark yet, chill out, do some quests, talk to folks, what-have-you until it gets dark, or stay in the inn to automatically kill 6 hours. Once you head to Pierre's, he'll reluctantly tell you the password, which is "boobs." Sweet, now go to the blacksmith in the first part of town, and note the awkward chair all by itself. Talk to it, move it to the side, and creep down the stairs to find the underground tunnels which lead tot he mercenary hideout.
Part 6: The Mercenary Hideout and Mines
There's a big stone door right close-by, so bust that down and head through the short corridor. They'll ask you the password at the other side--tell them it, head inside, and start looking for the guy who seems to be in charge. He's chilling out at the table up the steps. He'll tell you that you're looking for a guy named "Ernie" who tried to kill Palmer when he was in Larry's, but failed. Ernie apparently ran into the mines because he was tipped off. Follow him, but be mindful: there are werewolves and ghasts! Werewolves are just badasses and the ghasts are resistant to physical damage. Use elemental attacks to take them out, and pick your way up the mines until you reach the top, and find Ernie. He's a little bitch, so he won't try to fight you. He blabs some stuff about how he was paid to take the hit out by a guy named Archibald, and that the writ of execution was soaking wet and cold when he got it, as though it had come from somewhere with snow. This indicates to the crew that it probably came from Bowdoin, which is quite a long haul away. In order to get out of the mines, you'll have to head left of Ernie's location. Talk to the hobo and save your game, because once you head through the next door, you can't go back unless you go all the way back through the front again. In the next room, there's a ton of poison obscuring your vision, and you have to move objects in order to make it through. In case you can't figure it out, the following picture might help (since you're a noob). After you get through here, you're home-free. Chapter 3: David, the Boat Adventure and the New World
Part 1: David and the Docks
Once the group is done patronizing Anebriate for passing out so much, talk to who you want in the party and head for the docks, which are north of where you are now, by the hobo. Go inside and talk to the dockmistress, who will explain the boating situation. After you've talked with her, check the note to the left, on the desk, and read through the list of Captains' names. The obvious choice is Dave. Talk to the dockmistress again, who will say something about Dave hiding from his wife in a hole in the slums. Head back to the slums and then head north, you'll notice a literal hole in the wall. Crawl inside and talk to the old man standing next to the water, who happens to be Dave. He'll agree to pilot your ship to Bowdoin so long as you promise to dress warm. This means you have to go all the way back to the first area of town, head into the item shop, and talk to the loudmouth shopkeeper. He's out of warm clothes, but he knows a place to get some: Back to the mercenary hideout. Head back through the blacksmith's shop and cruise up to the head honcho again. He'll sell you a warm set of clothes for a reasonable discount after some choice words. Head back to the docks, talk to the dockmistress again, and she'll give you the dock key. To the right, there's a locked door which you can now access. Dave is waiting outside to take you on a boat adventure!
Part 2: The Boating Adventure
After following Dave out on the docks and boarding your sweet ride, start following the path of shallow water northeast until you come into the large ocean-adventure area. It's a pretty straightforward navigation through the shallow waters, winding through rocks, etc. There are a few places you may want to explore here and there, but for the most part you can zoom straight through. On the second map, things start to get a bit chillier. Take your boat through the frigid waters and once you appear on the other side, head south until Anebriate has a little dream. Park at the docks and head into the boathouse. Dave will give you a little spiel about how he has to repair his boat, but that he'll catch up with you in Bowdoin.
Part 3: The Winter Wasteland
Head south out of the boathouse area and head into the winter wasteland. Anebriate will make an astute observation about the nature of things (not quite Lucretius, but still profound). Head east, fighting your way through chilly scorpions and bluedinis. After a while, the path will turn north--follow it to the entrance of the a cave. Inside, you're free from monsters for the time being. You can cut a straight path through and head for the exit, or you can snoop around. You may notice that there is an alchemist in the immediate vicinity who will turn your nightsies into a potion for a small fee. If you head straight north you'll notice a save hobo near the exit of the cavern. Be prepared for a boss fight with Tommy's dad's escaped bull, which apparently got into some bad stuff. Once you've left the cave behind, you're back into the wastes for a short amount of time, and then once you head straight north you'll find yourself on the world map, standing in front of the next town.
Part 4: Bowdoin
Welcome to the quiet, peaceful town of Bowdoin. It's a nice place if you have no temperature receptacles. Roam or explore what you will, but at some point head for the tavern and talk to the barkeep: Barry. Barry is a legit dude, and tells you a little bit about Archibald, the "Diablo Dozen," and the "Jets." He mentions a gang war and once you leave, Anebriate decides to capitalize on it. Head north through town until you reach the castle, then head east. Once you find a locked building with a guy in a red suit guarding the door, you've found the Jets' hideout. Big Red lets you in once you say you'd like to join the gang, and then you have to talk to Bennie, who is the one wearing Elton John glasses. Bennie initiates you and tells you the plan. You have to talk to Old Spice and get the "Diablo Dozen disguise," which is pretty much just a dress. Anebriate throws it on and feels like a douche. Head back down to where you first entered town, and you should find a group of people to the east gathered around a fire. Talk to all of them, and you'll learn that their leader, Archibald, is going to show up at some point between midnight and 5AM. Check the clock by pressing Esc. If it's time, talk to the bald one again with the eye patch. If it's not time, wander around or sleep in an inn until it is. Once you talk to baldy (Diablo Dean), the cut-scene will begin and Archibald will appear. He makes a plan to assault the Jets later that same morning. With this information, head back to Bennie and warn him. Bennie will tell you to get some rest, so head back to the Inn and talk to the Innkeeper for a "special" room, with locked doors. That night, Archibald will break in and reveal some interesting news. It's your job now to head to the castle and find Jeffery, the librarian who loves dragons. Once inside the castle, head west and look for the unguarded staircase, which will lead into the library. Talk to the man behind the counter, who is Jeffery. He tells you about how Bowdoin just got a large shipment of money in from a place called Lewiston, which is strange because Lewiston is a crappy slum. Head out of the castle to greet Dave, who is in a strangely big hurry. Fight the Jets if you want, or leave them: Your call. Head east to the docks, and Dave will tell you to hop on his mystery ship again, which he parked (somehow) just outside of town.
Part 5: The Desert
Once you get out of town, hop in the ship and sail south along the coast until you reach a sandy beach. It's a dead end anyway, so hop off the boat and start walking west. It's an uncharacteristically open world map space, but just head over the bridge, and once you do, start heading south. You'll notice you can head east at some point, but the town isn't available just yet (it will become available in the next expansion). Just keep heading south until you reach the desert. Once in, Anebriate will throw a hissy-fit and pass out. When he wakes up, he's in a cave just a few feet away. Dave tells you that you're going to have to stop at all the cacti and drink the water from them when you get thirsty (when the timer moves under 45 seconds). Pick and choose your fights here; if your party is a bit lower level and the fights take too long, you may run out of time and have to start from the beginning of the desert. For the first screen, hug the cliff wall and keep moving south until you find the save hobo. He'll add a minute or two to your timer because he's magical, and also he has a long speech. After doing your save-business, keep moving south. The sandgoyles and sand ninjas have a reasonable chance to drop some decent loot. Once you reach the next screen, move south until the path forks east and west. Head east, and don't forget to talk to a cactus every chance you get. If you leave a screen and come back, the cacti will be recharged. You'll eventually come upon the quiz master, who irritatingly delays you with yet another challenge. You can fight him (he gives you some extra time) or you can answer the questions. He's no harder than last time, but if you're low on time you may want to try answering the questions. Once he lets you past, keep heading east until you're out of the desert.
Part 6: Lewiston
Welcome to the shittiest place in Maine. It's basically an old mining colony that got closed down by They a long time ago and never reopened or recovered. People still try to survive in the tunnels or out in their hovels, but all in all, it's not your ideal vacation spot, and it becomes apparent very quickly that there is something weird going on here. Your first order of business will be heading north-west until you see the hobo standing in front of a building. He'll make a big scene and peace out, leaving you out of luck for saves. Head into the building he was standing in and wake up the sleeping secretary who will begrudgingly tell you a few details about the town and who runs it. Apparently the mayor is also the local barkeep, Jerry. Hug the cliffs and move west until you reach a cave entrance for the mines. Head in and straight across the way, you should see a ladder heading up. Climb it and you'll be in the largest area of abandoned mines/housing in the city, as well as the place with the tavern. Move up and around to the left, following the path until you see Jerry behind the counter. Talk to him and Anebriate will throw a pity-party for which Jerry didn't get the memo. He'll tell you to move along, and Dave brings up the point that perhaps they'll find a lead between where they are now and Bowdoin along the coast. The logical conclusion is Freeport, the only place in between. Leave Jerry and move south all the way through this level of the mines until you find the exit. Once outside, follow the cart tracks to the ladder which will take you up the cliffs a bit higher. Head for the doorway and enter into a new part of the mines. Once inside, navigate through to the north side of the room and take the exit on the opposite wall. You'll be on the other side of the cliffs, facing the ocean. Move west and north along the cliffs until you reach the ladder, then descend. A new save hobo will greet you, and it becomes painfully clear that he's a smug bastard almost immediately. Save and head to the docks, where you can swindle the dockmaster into letting you rent the boat for a small fee. If you don't have the cash on hand, there's a vendor near the town office with the secretary who will buy your stuff. Once you get the boat, start heading out of town and a cut-scene will begin.
Part 7: The Deep Crow
Someone comes and gets you, and asks you for help. TECHNICALLY, you can ignore the plea if you feel like it (for the time being, anyway). However, I'm going to assume that most people will respond to it and head back into town. You may recall that near Jerry's tavern, there was a locked door with a guard standing next to it. Return there and talk to the guy who asked for help initially. He'll tell you to talk to the door man. Do so, get the key, and head through the door. Anebriate laments momentarily about how terrible of an idea this was. Proceed through the next door and into the lair of the Deep Crow. Follow the path fighting lava rats until you reach the top. You may want to have some Sun Block on hand to remove the burns from the rats. Move to the mouth of the cave and a brief cut-scene will begin, followed by the deep crow fight. He's insanely fast and hits moderately hard, but doesn't have a ton of health. Try to keep at as close to full health as possible because it's easy to fall behind. Once you beat it, return to town and bask in your legacy. A lot of people will acknowledge your achievement, and some may even have something to give you for it. When you've had your fill of fame, head back to the docks and leave town.
Part 8: Pine Forest
There's really nothing much to say about the pine forest other than that Barry, our buddy from the Bowdoin tavern, moved out of Bowdoin and set up a little shop here in the woods mixing potions out of flowers. He'll even offer to do it for free, so capitalize on Barry's skills while you can. Once you're done with that, head north to leave the area.
Part 9: Freeport
Welcome to the pirate cove, a place of black market dealings and general manliness. You'll notice immediately, however, that you have some company. Mechanicor followed you all the way here, except that he swam across the ocean in a suit of armor, so he's considerably worn out. His motives are a bit hazy, but nevertheless you must fight him. Once he's defeated, a cut-scene will unfold which reveals one of the final pieces to the mystery. Things finally start sinking into the skulls of our protagonists regarding how deep the shit they are standing in is. At this point, head north and east across the bridge and keep moving in that direction until you reach the only accessible building in Freeport. Inside, the sort of "foreman" for things which transpire here mouths of to Anebriate, and turns out to be the straw that breaks the camel's back. Anebriate snaps on him and gets the information he needs, but it isn't good. Grimly, the team begins to realize that it might be time to return home and face what lies in wait. Chapter 4: The Return Voyage and King Steve
Part 1: The Return to Litchfield
Head out of town and retrieve your ship. The rocks that were blocking your way previously are conveniently gone for no reason whatsoever. Use this freedom of navigation to your advantage and sail all the way home to Litchfield at your leisure. The easiest method is to reach the western island and sail north along the coast until you reach the Litchfield docks where previously, once entering Litchfield, Palmer's church would have been. Such is not the case now, however, as you soon discover. Upon arrival, Palmer has a serious breakdown and is confronted by one of his nuns, who explains in more detail the story. Palmer vows to take revenge and decides to barrel in through the front door. Sure, why not, Anebriate joins him. You can save at the replacement hobo and head straight in, or you can go back into Litchfield which has changed a bit since your last visit. Some of the vendors sell updated equipment, so take a look around if you feel so inclined. Once you've finished, return to the super-castle and head inside.
Part 2: The Super-Castle
Welcome to King Steve's super-castle. It's time to fight through a whole bunch of floors in an insane attempt to reach the top and kill King Steve. Immediately upon entering, Anebriate greets an old acquaintance: Larry, of Larry's Tavern. Larry apparently works here and has mostly forgotten about the tavern which sent Anebriate initially on a journey across the kingdom, but Anebriate has not forgotten--no, he remembers very succinctly all the pain he has endured. The ground floor has two stair-cases up, both of which lead to the same room, so take whichever one you fancy. On the first floor, head to the left side of the room (first not to be confused with ground, which is floor 0). Take the left-most flight of stairs UP to floor 2. There's a guard who Anebriate apparently went to high school with. Take the box on the table, which has a key to an important room on the 5th floor, then go back down the stairs (to floor 1) and head all the way to the right side of the room in order to take a different flight of stairs up. This part of the second room contains a guard you'll have to fight. Once you do, take the stairs UP again, to floor 3. Navigate through the tavern (say hi to Wendy, the barmaid previously from Larry's) and find the flight of stairs UP on the left side of the room. Take it to the 4th floor. You'll have to fight your way through a handful of guards here as you work your way down the hallway and around to the other side of the room. Take the stairs UP to the 5th floor. There are a few patrols which you can either fight or avoid if you so choose (and are coordinated enough to do so). Move to the left-most door and use the 5th floor key to open it. Inside, your old friend "Belinda" from the beginning of the game awaits. She'll give you a spiel about how the king apparently has a bodyguard so badass that Anebriate wouldn't have even had a chance pre-memory-loss, much less now. Instead, she gives you a mysterious package which you must give to him should you make it that far. It would be wise to do so. She repents, but not before a harsh scolding from Anebriate. Take the package and leave the room, then head into the only other door on this level. Fight the guard and take the stairs to the 6th floor. No funny business here, just a short hop to the next stairs, leading UP to the 7th floor. This would appear to be a dining hall of some variety. Chill if you want, or move through the crowd to the right side of the room and take the stairs to the 8th floor. There's a narrow hallway with a guard sergeant patrolling. You can avoid him if you cleverly time your jumps into rooms, otherwise, fight him and move on the the stairs at the opposite end, to the 9th floor. On the 9th floor, you'll have to fight the guards at the wide staircase leading up directly above where you came from. Then, moving up to a compartment on the 10th floor, you'll have to fight the sergeant in order to get an important 10th floor key. Once you snag that, you can either swing by the blacksmith on the same level or head back down to the 9th floor and move right, through the doorway and to the stairs, which you'll need your key to unlock. Take the stairs to the other compartment of the 10th floor and start heading for the big central staircase. Before you get there, the hobo returns for a touching moment of bromance. His warning is a dire one, however: the bodyguard is not to be flexed with. Fortunately, you already got the package from Belinda. Fight your way up the staircase and KABLOOMERS, cut-scene time.
Part 3: The Final Boss and the Aftermath
The bodyguard will confront your party, and so long as you have the package, he will leave the premises and spare your lives. King Steve reckons he'll just have to do the job himself--final boss time! Don't hold back on this fight. You'll need every consumable you can get your hands on. Keep 2 people on full-time healing or consumable duty. If you're using Dave, let him be the chemist since he uses items with double the effectiveness. Keep Anebriate healing as much as you can. It will be hard to catch up if more than one person dies, so always keep on top of your resurrects and heals. The fight is long and hard (that's what she said), but keep at it and you'll get him eventually! After the fight, there is a cut-scene which will be modified slightly depending on if you have obtained a certain character. After that and the credits, you will wake up in your bed free to move around, as well as save outside. The characters in your house will also respond differently according to your behavior in the game. The hobo is waiting for you outside your house for one final save. Congratulations, you've beaten Tales of the Drunken Paladin: Book III!
Keep a look out for the upcoming expansion content!